An electioneering person with implants
is an octogenarian with toe cheese.
Ha Ha -- made you look! But since you are here! I never wrote a Christmas letter in 2007 but apparently someone started it ---
The torch has been passed to a new generation! Pops has abdicated the keyboard – unfortunately to one that has a very limited vocabulary given that this writer is 2 ½ years old. No worries. I intend to parlay/channel the writing skills of Pops & my Momma.
So why did this torch need to be passed so suddenly?
I hesitate to say but let’s face it, Pops has lost it! Every year the
content of his communiqués have gradually moved past the line of common
decency. Apparently Nana, Mom
and Aunt Rinney intercepted an early draft of this year’s letter and they
immediately demanded right to censor. … all I could pick up was that there was
something about spatulas, horseradish and a hot tub in
I think the real reason Pops gave up so early was that he had nothing. After all, life in this house revolves completely around me! I’m either being tailed or restrained for every waking moment – how great is that? The house I live in if chock full of amazing stuff ! Pictures, lamps, switches, buttons and the most whimsical chotskies you can imagine - all within easy reach! Each item is full of merriment. So it very, very difficult to keep my hands off. And everything seems to have the same amazing affect – I mean if I had a nickel for every time I heard Caleb NO! Uh – oh! I just heard it again!
Nana & Pops turned into bonafide “runners” this year. But do you call that running? It’s a very slow jog at best! I really think they use it as an excuse to go to Disney. Nana went down there 3 times for races; a half marathon in January, a 15K in May and a 10K in October! I got to go in January and there was a huge gang that went with us. Pops and even Momma ran with Nana. Pops told me he was the big winner but Pops tells me a lot of stuff that I don’t believe. Pops and Nana went to Disney by themselves in May for more merriment. In October it was just Nana, Momma and Aunt Rinney. Pops stayed home … something about having seen enough of freakin’ Disney. No matter, I got to go that time and got to hang with my Disney pals again. Since my ghost writer wasn’t there at that time I can’t clearly express what happened
My grandparents are very, very old now. They both turned 50 this year! Nana was rather graceful with her transition to modern maturity (although she suddenly has the propensity to wander around unaware of food stains on her clothing). Pops approached his entrance into his next half century with a tad bit more bravado … and he dragged everyone with him. Nana decided a USO Dance fundraiser would be a perfect way to spring a psuedo-surprise party for Pops. Pops thought Nana went a bit over the top; orchestrating a fundraising event just to hide the surprise. Anyway, Nana was not aware that the mix of invited guests decked out in their authentic 1940s attire, kegs of Yuengling, bottles of Imperial Russian Stout, authentic US Army Jeeps, and other assorted military paraphernalia would lead to such a spectacle. Debauchery was the order of the day. By the evening’s conclusion the “great Svengali” Pops managed to cajole each of the woman to pose in a sultry “pin up” style up, on and around the jeeps complete with army helmets, flags and whatever else he could put in their hands (including bologna sandwiches). I only know this because I saw the pictures – and now I’ve seen things I should have NEVER seen at this tender age. It didn’t turn out to be the distinguished event Nana had envisioned.
Previous to this September bash much of this same group were gathered together in a very large house in the Outer Banks, NC. There were six very old people (WAY over 30), and about 9 assorted young men and woman who turned the place into a finish this sentence. And then there was me. It was the house that never slept! All I know is that when I was ready to greet the world many of the younger combatants were slipping off to sleep. Ahh, I tell you it was turning into … ah, never mind. Give me my blanket and binky. I quit!
Merry Christmas 2007!
Caleb